If you have visited my blog, you will notice there are only 7 posts on it. I know, it is pretty slim pickings. Additionally, you will notice there is a huge 8-month gap between my last post and now. It is pretty sad, and I have to say that it is a little discouraging. Let me explain a little more.
When I started this project, I felt inspired to do so, and I felt that God was guiding me to do this. Initially, I kept putting it off because it was so incredibly overwhelming to me. I looked at my list of faults and inadequacies and told myself, “what do I have to offer, there are so many food blogs out there, so many people with the skills required”, but despite all of this, it would not go away. Then on a drive home from Christmas at my parent’s home, my husband encouraged me to start a blog as a creative outlet and an opportunity for growth. I listed my many reasons why I should wait or not do it at all, he listened and then sweetly said he would help me, which he has in so many ways.
Fast forward to my first seven posts, I found I loved the interview process, but I really disliked the technology side blogging. Additionally, I felt that when I shared my idea with others it was well received, but I was mistakenly thought that if I shared my idea with others, they would just open up and say, “Oh, I have a story, or recipe, for you.” Needless to say, it didn’t turn out that way.
I realized that I would have to go outside my comfort zone and ask to interview people. That was really hard for me. I typically do not like asking anything from others. With the few interviews I managed to do, it was a good opportunity to see what this project would really take and how my initial skills measured up. Again, it was really overwhelming.
However, I was able to see a little glimpse of families reconnecting and sharing memories based on the stories I shared. It gave me hope that this project could make a difference.
So why did I take a break if I was just getting started? I will just say it, I was (and still am) AFRAID. My fears were holding me back, so much so that I felt like quitting. I have never enjoyed being in the spotlight, but when a person creates a blog their ultimate goal is to get attention. This made me feel very uncomfortable! So many negative thoughts flooded my mind, “what if they go to my blog and see that I have no idea what I am doing. My pictures are not Pinterest worthy, my writing skills are mediocre at best, and my website is a mess!” I felt that I needed to be good at all these things right away or no one would want to visit my blog.
I really needed to examine why I was doing this and whether it was even worth it with the amount of stress it was creating for me. Once again, my husband told me not to give up and that he would help me. He believed so much in me that he bought me 3 years of hosting and a new blog template!
In addition to my husband encouraging me, he found someone for me to interview. He came home from a business class he has been attending so excited to tell me about his instructor, Leslee’s, story that he insisted I call her right away. Right away I hesitated, but he kept pushing me and pressuring me to call and I finally said that I would. I arranged a time to meet, and my supportive husband willingly watched our kids while I attended this interview.
I have to tell you that I was extremely nervous about this, not because I was meeting someone I had never met before, but because of what I knew it would mean. It would mean that I to get going with my goal again. However, this interview was exactly what I needed. I felt so inspired by this woman’s family story and so excited to share it with others (you will get to read her story in a few weeks) it rejuvenated me down to my soul.
However, the most important thing I learned from my interview with Leslee is that this project is not about me. After our interview, I thanked Leslee for her time and she in return gave me heartfelt thanks. She said she really appreciated the opportunity to think about her family’s story and to tell it to someone else, and that it helped her see where she fit into her family and how she has been influenced by previous generations.
With this, I found my source of courage to go forward with this project and it reinforced that this project is not about me. It is about you and anyone else that wants to share their story, their family’s story, or about someone that has inspired them.
I began this project to share your stories, but I got so caught it in how inadequate I was that I became fearful. I am still inexperienced, technologically illiterate, and a poor excuse of a food photographer and writer. However, I am good enough for now and the rest will come with experience.
Thank you for letting me share my thoughts and for allowing me, even with all my short comings, to share what is near and dear to your heart.